I would argue “no”. Running a business and working for a business is often the same thing. Sitting here worrying about income, family, strategy… failure. No, I’m not an entrepreneur. I’m just a guy trying to figure this out.
I’m stuck. I’m scared. I’m paralyzed with doubt and guilt. All I know to do right now is type. So that’s what I’m doing.
I’ve got a project I should work on. I’ve got somewhere I should be. But I’m not I’m here. Typing. Trying to get through the emotions that are right here, right now.
An entrepreneur is someone who has figured out how to create a business that works. A business that is an asset. A system that will work, with or without their constant attention and input. That ain’t me.
An entrepreneur has tasted the success of making something that works. I don’t know that feeling.
Entrepreneurs have found a way past failure and disappointment, to the other side. The sunny side. Or maybe just the less cloudy side. It’s not enough to see the light, you’ve got to be in it, even just briefly.
Like a team at the bottom of the division, I feel like I’ve become used to losing. Doing things not quite right. Saying things, just off the mark. Going through the motions of what “success” should look like, just not getting the ball through the net consistently enough to pull out a win.
When you’re at the bottom looking up, every little success feels like winning the superbowl. Every setback, a stab in the heart. Two new contracts yesterday: ok, that’s cool. Unreturned phone calls, collections unpaid, unkind voicemails, broken promises…..
Three things that create successful ventures: raving fans, intelligent mentorship, strong support structure. Yeah, how does that happen? They don’t teach that in business school. They don’t do that in normal businesses. Why would an employee need to learn about being a successful entrepreneur?
I was hoping this writing exercise would help me. Instead I’m sitting in a coffee shop, fighting back tears.
This isn’t working out. Nothing is working out.